4 reasons spirituality in sex isn’t just ‘woo-woo'


In our fast-paced, hyper-connected lives, we race through the day to get everything done and our bodies and minds are often off in different places. At work, we focus our minds on solving the big problems but our bodies are sedentary and left out of the picture. When we exercise or have sex, we tend to focus on our bodies, not allowing our minds to connect.

When it comes to sex, we try to fit this in around our jam-packed day. We are often tired, or have not left enough time to explore our own inner sexual energy.

We spoke to Harriet Emily, an expert Kundalini yoga instructor and sound healing therapist, on how these practices can reconnect body and mind, engage our sexual energy and allow us to rediscover our relationships with others.

1. Kundalini yoga actually releases sexual energy

Kundalini yoga helps you to become more aware and unlock the sexual energy that is located at the base of your spine (near your sexual organs) and spread this around your body. Through the practice you can actually change your relationship with sexuality.

Harriet confirmed “a lot of us do not know how to channel that sexual energy. We often keep our power and passion locked in the sacral chakra (base of your spine), which is where it is repressed and stored. If we do not connect our spirituality to our sexuality then we are likely to have unconscious relationships and sex.”

Through continuous practice, Kundalini yoga can balance sexual energy in your body and ultimately make you much more conscious of who you spend time with and sleep with.

2. Breathing in sync with a partner allows for a deeper experience

Harriet explains, “if you start breathing in time with the person you’re on a date with, you will start to sync your energies together. When you feel sexual connection with someone, it’s often a physical attraction. If you want to extend it beyond that, you can start to connect your energy when you’re with them by connecting with their mannerisms, the way they talk, the sequence of their breathing etc. If you’re going to have sex, then you’ve already created a deeper intimate connection and it will heighten the pleasure you both feel during sex because you are already on a similar wavelength. Contrast this to a state of numbness you experience when are drunk and having sex, and therefore less in sync.”

“It is all about creating a consciousness together. When you merge two people, you create a third identity. You have two souls merging as one, which creates a unique dynamic and energy. If you want to have more than just a physical connection in sex, you have to work beyond the physical movement in sex. Listen to how they breathe, how they touch, how they feel. Tune into the multi-sensory.”

3. Vibrations from sound and meditation chants change neural pathways of the brain

The physical body has energy centres (chakras) which all have their own vibration and frequencies. Sounds in instruments match and resonate with these different chakras, helping to purify and clear out blockages in those energy centres.

Harriet connects people with their minds and their intentions, “the sound helps you tap into and communicate with that energy centre, but it will be even more powerful if you can also work with your mind to shift old thoughts too. Sound baths therefore allow you to clear your mind and receive clarity. Some of us are lost and unable to gain sight of who we are. Sound baths help you to understand who you are as a person.”

Kundalini yoga also uses a lot of breathwork, chanting and mantras. "You hold postures for a prolonged period while chanting. These have specific vibrational qualities which trigger change in the neural pathways of the brain. Kundalini helps to re-calibrate these pathways and wipe away lifetimes of wounds and conditioning that eventually regenerate who you are as a person."


“Listen to how they breathe, how they touch, how they feel. Tune into the multi-sensory”

4. Tuning into the energy flow between yourself and another person during sex is spiritual

“Spirituality is the connection to something that’s beyond a physical body. We have limitations in the physical body and brain which means we can only interpret things in a way that is logical for us. We know the five senses are limiting. Spirituality is something that’s more than we can see, hear or comprehend for example.

Sex can be incredibly spiritual because you are connecting to your life force or creative energy. You’re creating a feeling that you don’t feel all the time, that is euphoric.

If you want to be a consciously sexual being, you should understand and feel into why you made certain decisions. For example, you might be affected by continually sleeping with men/women you don’t know. You might feel emotional separation, detachment or torment when you don’t feel love in exchange for sexual intimacy. Tune into what you feel and ask yourself whether you want to experience more than just physical pleasure.

In terms of practice, experiment with your sexuality to see if this will enable you to better understand yourself. It will help you figure out who you are as a person and what feels good for you. As an analogy, it’s like eating the same foods despite it making you feel bad. If you are doing the same things sexually and you are not find it fulfilling, then do something else!”

As conclusive food for thought, Harriet asks us, “how do you explain that feeling of intimacy, connection and sometimes euphoria when you have sex with someone? Even after casual sex, many people feel some level of attachment and closeness, which you wouldn’t feel after holding someone’s hand. There is a flow of energy in the act of sex, that is spiritual. It is something that you can’t see, that is beyond yourself.”

You can read more about Harriet Emily’s inspiring practice and her list of upcoming events here: http://harrietemily.com/ or email her at harriet.emilysmith@gmail.com